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Sweet Brother-in-Law

My brother-in-law is the kindest person I know. When he comes over for dinner, he asks if there is anything in the house that needs fixing. This week, he complimented my rearrangement of furniture and I noted that the TV was on a table that extended into the doorway. He said, “What size table do you want?” and proceeded to make a table for me, to my specifications.

Sheryl Clarke, United States

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Does Kindness ALWAYS Work?

OK, Jerilynne, now you’ve done it. You’ve gone off the deep end, right? You spend gobs of time focusing on how to bring kindness into the world, to get people to understand how kindness can transform their lives. And you write a post asking whether it will ALWAYS work?

And you know why? Because it is a question I was asked. When I said “yes, it always works” the person looked at me as if I had grown horns and was breathing fire. He said “it can’t always work, nothing always works. I’ve tried what you said and it hasn’t done a thing”.

I could see he was discouraged because he truly does his best to be a Kindness Warrior and I honor him for that commitment. I’m so proud of the choice he has made to BE the difference he wants to see in the world. And I wanted to help him continue on his path because, you see, I believe it is VITAL to having peace and harmony in the world.

So I asked him two questions and they are the same questions for you to think about.

  • What are you expecting to happen?
  • What do you mean by “work”?

His response was “I didn’t get any response…no smile, no change, no thank you, no nothing. The person looked at me as if I came from another planet and even seemed to be scared of me”.

With his response, he gave me the clue to helping him with the next step on his path and it is simple, if not easy. Wanna know what the trick is?

It is letting go of your expectations and definitions.
That’s it.
That is all it takes.

When we focus on what we want to happen because of a kindness shared, we’re darned near guaranteed to be disappointed. Because we rarely, if ever, get to see the final outcome. Many of the things we do happen in a quick second…a thank you to a stranger, a few kind words, putting the grocery cart away, giving a helping hand…and then we’re gone. On to our next task or place to be.

We don’t know if our “thank you” is the one that turns the person’s day around and causes them to be kind to the next person in the checkout lane. Or our kind words mean the person treats their partner or child with kindness when they get home. And because of that kindness, the kid treats the other neighborhood kids more gently or….

Giving a kindness without expectation is like the pebble you throw into a pond…you have no idea how far the ripple effect will travel and no idea of the final outcome. You simply do it because you find it important and kindness is what you chose to focus on.

So, keep on BEING kindness, knowing, trusting, it will have the intended effect…raising the balance in the Universal Bank of Kindness (U B OK) and skyrocketing the world’s positive energy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether kindness works…so leave your comment and let me know. Whether you agree, or disagree, I love hearing from you!

Love and light, hugs and blessings

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Thank You Means a Lot

A dear friend of mine called to say “thank you” for helping her through a tough spot. Ever noticed how a simple “thank you” can make you light up inside?

Now there’s an act of kindness that is easy…and free! All it takes is a moment of your time and who knows what you’ve just set in motion.

Jerilynne, Wauconda, IL USA

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Can We Support the Troops and Not the War?

You know, war is never beautiful and never easy and this one has been so controversial and brought so much pain to so many. And it sucks. Period. I don’t agree with the premise or the actions taken in any way, shape, or form. If we look back through human history, focusing on killing doesn’t bring life and it doesn’t bring peace. It brings more division and more war and more anger and more hatred.

Many people protest the war, and I understand that. I don’t like this being the approach we’re taking to solve problems and get “over” differences. Given my druthers, we would live in peace and harmony, caring for all of earth’s inhabitants in a respectful and loving way. And, for the moment, this war is what is happening. It is the reality we all get to face.

AND when I see something like this video, I’m reminded that these are precious, amazing human beings caught in a conflict that many (if not all) disagree with. And yet, they are there.

So, what is to be done? How can 1 person make a dent in the anger, the pain, and the hatred? Sometimes it seems as if it is too big, too much. I’ve often looked around and thought “it is just too big, it is more than I can handle, I’m just one person. How can I do anything?”

In my opinion, the way we make a difference is to change our focus from what we don’t want to what we do want. The way we make a difference, whether it is to bring peace to the world or in our own home, is to continue supporting all amazing human beings with love and gentleness AND focus on bringing love and kindness wherever we are, whatever we do. The more individuals focus on these things, the less likely it is for us to be at war…in our hearts, in our homes, in our country and all around the world.

So, as you go through your day, I ask you to take a look around you and find something positive and loving to focus on and share with the world. Because we can make a difference, one act of love and kindness at a time.

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Naked Coffee?

I’m self-employed and work from home, which is an amazing gift and blessing. AND (I tend to like AND conversations) I find a lot of reasons as to why I can’t/shouldn’t leave…yesterday was one of those days when I didn’t want to put in the effort to get out the door.

Now, I love good coffee and although some people drink their coffee naked, I drink it “doctored” with yummy creamer. When I checked my supply, I realized I was almost out. Now with no boss to answer to, I should be able to just run out when I want to? Yes? Yes! However, my responsible self kicked in and said “how silly is it to waste precious gasoline running out for coffee creamer?” That just isn’t responsible, right! So stay at home I did.

I thought about asking my sweet hubby to stop on the way home and I knew he was tired so I put on my best martyr face and figured now was the time to either drink my coffee naked. Better for me anyway?

This morning I told my hubby about the scenario and he said “I would have been happy to stop sweetie”…

Fast forward, he heads off to face his 1 hour long commute in Chicago traffic…and the later he leaves the more he gets to sit and stare at the backend of the same car for a long time. I toddled off to work wishing I had “just” gone out yesterday.

15 minutes later I hear a knock at the door and there is my honey…a bottle of creamer in hand and a beatific smile on his face. WOW!!!!!!!!!

Now, how kind is that!

Jerilynne, Wauconda, IL USA